bluestocking mama

January Poem of the Month

2012-01-31T21:20:00.000-08:00

In January, the mailbox is sad and lonely. And the trips to get the mail are depressing--no brightly colored cards, no faces of old friends peering out at me from the envelopes, and no packages. Oh, how I love the constant packages delivered to my door in December. So, this month's poem, which I meant to post early in the month and then forgot, is meant to reflect the loss of packages I endure every January. :) I also think this poem is funny because it reminds me of how as a teenager and even a college student, I would spin big daydreams of how I would meet fabulous men (as randomly as the UPS Man) who would recognize my brilliance and beauty and fall madly in love with me.

"Why I Have A Crush On You, UPS Man"
by Alice N. Persons

you bring me all the things I order
are never in a bad mood
always have a jaunty wave as you drive away
look good in your brown shorts
we have an ideal uncomplicated relationship
you're like a cute boyfriend with great legs
who always brings the perfect present
(why, it's just what I've always wanted!)
and then is considerate enough to go away
oh, UPS Man, let's hop in your clean brown truck and elope!
ditch your job, I'll ditch mine
let's hit the road for Brownsville
and tempt each other
with all the luscious brown foods--
roast beef, dark chocolate,
brownies, Guinness, homemade pumpernickel, molasses cookies
I'll make you my mama's bourbon pecan pie
we'll give all the packages to kind looking strangers
live in a cozy wood cabin
with a brown dog or two
and a black and brown tabby
I'm serious, UPS Man. Let's do it.
Where do I sign?

A successful Sunday

2012-01-29T20:26:00.000-08:00

Tonight as I read H "Froggy" books in his room (I can't stand Froggy books, by the way), Sweetie came in, sat beside me, and whispered an apology for throwing a slam-the-door fit after I made her have a princess toothbrush instead of an adult toothbrush (mean, mean mom!). I put my spare arm around her and pressed her head against my shoulder. My frustrated, angry attitude toward her changed instantly as I remembered what a sweet, kind girl she is. I think being a good mom--and being a good person, really--is all about that. Trying to hold onto the good in people and life. Trying to remember Sweetie's apology, her laughter, her offer to grate the cheese for dinner instead of her fits. I wish I knew the secret for always super-imposing the image of the contrite little girl, warm against my side, on top of the image of the lip-curling little girl with the angry eyes. I imagine the trick to doing so has everything to do with me and not much to do with her.

Today was a good Sunday (they aren't all good, especially with 1:00 church and no naps for H!). Good, despite my being called as Primary president and experiencing again that new-calling, thrown-into-the-pool feeling. Sure, there were some glitches in our Sabbath--the toilets needing to be plunged thanks to H's fascination with the toilet (a fascination, remember, that has not extended to his actually going in the toilet). But dinner was an easy grilled pork tenderloin, green salad, twice-baked potatoes, and jello, so instead of standing in the kitchen for an hour, I played hide-and-go-seek with the kids, which is one of the games I actually enjoy. You'd think we'd run out of places to hide, but never underestimate my ability to fit into a tight spot :) We ate chocolate chip cookies and played kids' Yahtzee for family game night, which we followed with a "Tik Tok" dance off, due to H's insistence, and when Keene's "Somewhere Only We Know" started playing on the I-Tunes playlist after "Tik Tok," J and I showed the older kids how to slow dance. It reminded me of Sunday evenings when I was growing up, when we'd all dance around the kitchen.

I also started this practice this morning, hoping to get the older 2 kids more excited about reading the scriptures on their own:

We made a "scripture-reading nest" with the couches and pillows. I gave each of them 2 plastic eggs filled with candy to eat while they read on their own in the nest. They're following the reading outline from "The Book of Mormon Feast" in January's Friend. It worked fine today. H's attention span in the illustrated scriptures left much to be desired, but, fortunately, he has this odd fascination with Jesus Christ being baptized, so when I got out the illustrated New Testament, he calmed down a bit. So, all in all, a good Sabbath. I end it feeling very blessed.

The Looby

2012-01-25T21:09:00.000-08:00

Sweetie and a friend played "hotel" today. Apparently, my bathroom doubled as the elevator because as I visited it this evening, I noticed this sign. It might have been more fitting for the bathroom to be the "looby." Maybe this is just funny to me because it's late and I'm tired.

Picture of the Day

2012-01-23T21:55:00.000-08:00

Family home evening, playing "I can be a missionary now!" in the Friend. H keeps rolling a 1, aka "a 17," to H. He comes in last and is overjoyed.

Is it too late to talk about New Year's?

2012-01-23T21:52:00.000-08:00

I haven't been very good at New Year's resolutions in the past few years. Not because I don't believe in goal-setting. In fact, I tend to cling to my goals a little too tightly. I love my to-do lists. I love the feeling of determining that I'm going to do something, writing it down, and then crossing it off as accomplished. But I think I need to focus less on the doing this year and more on the being. They're connected, I realize, but when I focus too much on my list, I think I tend to get caught up in the daily busyness that doesn't truly reflect the 2 things that matter the most to me in my life: (1) my relationship with my Father in Heaven and (2) my relationship with my family members. Things get cleaned and decorated (eventually!) but my relationships don't always get nurtured.

I love this quote by Neil Gaiman that Kelli shared on Segullah at the beginning of the year:

“May your coming year be filled with magic and dreams and good madness. I hope you read some fine books and kiss someone who thinks you’re wonderful, and don’t forget to make some art — write or draw or build or sing or live as only you can. And I hope, somewhere in the next year, you surprise yourself.”

I love that Gaiman doesn't focus on doing what needs to be done or has to be done in life. I love that his wish for us in the coming year is not that we'll do something great or accomplished. Instead, he talks of magic and madness, reading and loving and creating and living. Reading his quote makes me excited about the possibilities of this new year.

And here are a couple of links that I liked for the New Year:

A letter to self/resolution list to fill out with kids and by yourself

A Mom's one-line-a-day journal. Record the moments without pressure! Just one line!

A massage or a psychoanalysis?

2012-01-22T20:21:00.000-08:00

This week will be better than last week. How do I know this? Because I spent the beginning of last week losing 5 pounds the hard way--via a horrendous stomach flu. (Although to be truthful, any way of losing 5 pounds is hard.) And that stomach flu activated my ulcer, which I discovered I had before Christmas but for which I was too busy to fill the prescription. So, as a result of that and one other medical issue, I also did not sleep much last week. On the bright side, in my sleepless, nauseous state, I discovered Downtown Abby and started delving into the first season episodes, which I watched free on Amazon.

After such a rough week, I finally scheduled the massage J gave me for my birthday waaaaayyy back in September. After working on the knots in my back for a while, the massage therapist told me, "I can tell you don't know how to relax. In fact, you probably go to the gym for your stress relief instead of sitting down and really relaxing." Hmmmmm. He also told me he could tell I'd had back pain issues in the past because of the way my back was responding "defensively" to pressure, he could tell I had a child that I sometimes toted around on my left arm, and he guessed that, because the right side of the back is the "masculine" side (this sounds kind of fishy to me, but I went with it), the tenseness/pain in my right side could indicate that I am not feeling enough support in some aspect of my life right now. Hmmmm. So, I got a massage and a psychoanalysis. What a value for my money. Maybe it was a good thing the massage was only for 60 minutes or my massage therapist might have unearthed all my secrets.

I'm waving my white flag

2012-01-13T16:45:00.000-08:00

throwing my towel in, bailing out, and whatever other expressions for quitting that you can think of. I've always been proud of my stick-to-it-iveness but this boy has me beat. After 5 days of doing almost nothing but potty-training (and reading countless books, singing every song in our repertoire, etc, etc), I'm retiring the undies, the treat box, the toy box, and the sticker chart for another day, even if he does look pretty darn cute in his undies.

Christmas and New Year's in Utah

2012-01-09T20:41:00.001-08:00

Are you tired of Christmas posts yet?! This should be the last. I got too far behind. The morning after Christmas, we headed out for Utah. About 4 hours into the drive, the kids started asking if we were out of the state yet. Nope. And not even half-way there. Such is the seemingly never-ended drudgery of the drive. But it was oh-so-worth it. We relaxed and went to the movies as a family and as a couple, we had our family party, and we snowmobiled with almost the entire extended family up to my parents' cabin to celebrate New Year's with plenty of food, great company, beautiful scenery, great snow, and a huge bonfire! Unfortunately, we also ended up with colds, bloody noses, the stomach flu (after the vacation, thankfully), and not one uninterrupted night on the entire trip. I guess that's the story of traveling with kids.

The Promise of Orange

2012-01-08T19:46:00.000-08:00

I planted both of these trees about 3 years ago because of the promised yield of orange. Both are currently fulfilling my expectations.

Christmas Eve and Christmas Day

2012-01-08T16:22:00.000-08:00

We spent Christmas Eve wrapping presents, frosting sugar cookies, and making Christmas Eve and Christmas Day food--rolls, layered jello, make-ahead french toast and breakfast casserole, etc. Our Christmas Eve is always magical for me: we eat dinner (usually steak, but this year tri-tip, rolls, twice-baked potatoes, green beans, layered jello, Martinellis, chocolate cake, vanilla ice cream) by candelight, we act out the Nativity (do you like that Superman made an appearance this year? H was not convinced that a wiseman or a shepherd trumped Superman, so he would not give up his cape), we watch the church's Nativity video, and this year, we lit the candles on my Weihnachts Pyramids from Germany and talked about how all of the figurines rotated around the Christchild and what each of the people did before and after seeing Jesus. I love the Spirit of Christmas Eve. Then we set out our stockings, tracked Santa on the computer, and sprinkled reindeer food on the front lawn.

Christmas Morning: We looked at our gifts from Santa, opened our stockings, ate our breakfast yummies, and went to church. After church, we opened our many presents. After we put out our 6 presents for each of the kids, our presents for each other, the kids' presents they bought each other, presents from the grandparents, and presents from Grandpa and Grandma to each other, we had quite the pile. It's kind of embarrassing. But oh so fun to unwrap.

H got gum in his stocking. It was almost all he needed. He ate 12 pieces on Christmas day.

Mister with his I-Touch from Santa

Sweetie got a bike from Santa

H got a scooter from Santa

Home from church

We were so glad Grandma and Grandpa could come stay with us! We love having them.

Some of the favorite gifts:

Trying out our presents:

The kids with all of their loot on display.

Mister wasted no time putting his legos together.

In the evening, we headed to Vickie and Ron's for a delicious dinner and for minute-to-win-it games. The first was how-many-candy-canes-can-you-hook-in-a-minute.

This one was pretty funny--how many bells can you shake, jump, or dance out of the box in a minute.

Merry Christmas!

2012-01-06T21:33:00.000-08:00

This year's card, with names removed from the bottom, not that anyone really reads my blog who doesn't already know our names, but oh well, I guess I'll maintain the status quo.

And letter:

Yearin Review: 2011

H (2 ½ ): H spent 2011 destroying things and givingus hugs and kisses to win back our affection in the aftermath of thedestruction. In 2011, he has mastered fake crying, riding his brother’sscooter, dancing to “Tik Tok” on our Just Dance 2 Wii game, and making us laugh. H will do anything for the person whowill give him candy, read him a book, play him a Primary song on the piano, orpush him on the swings. He has plenty of profound answers to our most pressingquestion: “H, why did you do that?” “Um, because.”

SWEETIE (6 ½): Sweetie spent 2011reading, pestering her first-grade teacher to let her take tests on the booksshe read, singing, dancing, playing the piano, playing soccer, swimming on theswim team, decorating our driveway with sidewalk chalk murals, leaving kindlittle notes on everyone’s beds, and filling up her social calendar with moreplaydates than we could keep straight. Sweetie is the 2011 reigning Possessor of the Remote Control.

MISTER (8 ½): Mister spent his timein 2011 playing basketball and swimming on the swim team, playing the piano(much to his dismay), starring as The Hitman on his flag football team,reading, scouting, and trying out karate, which he discovered is not a passion(thank heavens). Mister has patiently weathered sharing a room with his littlebrother, who is prone to late-night singing sessions. For his patience, Mister has been rewarded with H’s undying affection.

J: J spent 2011 golfing, watching sports,golfing, golfing some more, and oh, yeah, he did manage to work too (still atBank of America). He also got swept up in Jimmermania; in fact, one of thehighlights of 2011 for J was his trip to Vegas for the MWC basketballtournament, where he witnessed the Jimmer score 50+ points. J’s been working more from home lately,which makes for glorious, child-free grocery-store trips for me during naptimeand lunch breaks to hit range balls for him. He also spent plenty of time in2011 in church-related activities as a member of the bishopric in our churchuntil he was released last month.

C: I did not spent 2011finishing a degree, writing a dissertation, having a baby, moving to anotherstate, or any of the other major, time-consuming occurrences of the pastyears. So why do I feel like I’m busierthan ever?? Maybe because in 2011 I made at least 975 meals and watched atleast 91 hours of kids’ sporting events(and by “watched,” I mean, chased H around and made sure he didn’t fall inthe pool, run in the street, etc). Mywatching of kids’ sporting events did take place with contact-free,glasses-free vision, thanks to my corrective eye surgery in May, which is oneof my 2011 highlights. I also did a little running, painting, reading, planningcub scout den meetings, and revising pieces of my dissertation for publicationsand presentations.

As 2011 ends, we remember howblessed we are to have crossed paths with so many good people. We hope the close of 2011 finds you happy andfilled with the peace that this season can bring.

Love,

The P Family

Sweetie's Christmas recital

2012-01-06T21:25:00.000-08:00

Sweetie's dance studio had a Christmas recital a week before Christmas. It was low-key and relaxed. A couple of the younger classes suffered from stage fright, so they got to do their dances twice :) Sweetie danced her heart out. It was fun to watch. We could tell how much she loves it.

Sweetie and 2 of her carpool friends

The big finish

I'm at Segullah today

2012-01-06T19:22:00.000-08:00

talking about singing my praises to God. Join me there!

And I have oh so many Christmas posts and pictures coming up soon, once I get my house back under some semblance of order.

Poem of the Month: December 2011

2011-12-24T21:02:00.001-08:00

"The Nativity" by Brian Kershisnik. I have this painting above my piano right now for the month of December. It's long been one of my favorites.

Today has been both a peaceful and a busy Christmas Eve. I want to leave it with the poem of the month, "Love Came Down at Christmas" by Christina Rossetti. This poem doesn't need much explication, which works well for me tonight. In fact, you've probably heard it before because it's been put to music countless times by a number of different groups and in a number of variations, from gospel to the Jars of Clay's album. As for me, I love the sound of this poem. I also love that Rossetti uses "Love" instead of one of Christ's many other names. It emphasizes for me what Christmas really is--not all those presents I finished wrapping--but love, the love of a divine father and mother for their children, the love of an older brother, a Savior. And so, on Christmas, we celebrate the sacred sign, the token, the plea, the gift: Love for all. What could be better? Absolutely nothing.

Love Came Down at Christmas
~Christina Rossetti

Love came down at Christmas,
Love all lovely, love divine;
Love was born at Christmas,
Star and angels gave the sign.

Worship we the Godhead,
Love incarnate, love divine;
Worship we our Jesus:
But wherewith for sacred sign?

Love shall be our token,
Love shall be yours and love be mine,
Love to God and to all men,
Love for plea and gift and sign.

Twenty-one down

2011-12-23T08:34:00.000-08:00

and not many left to go.

"Tradition, Tradition!"

2011-12-21T22:17:00.000-08:00

(Please sing the title to this post in your best Tevye voice.)

I decided this year that, although traditions are well and good, it seems like we have too many Christmas traditions. It's no good when your traditions stress you out. I think the Disneyland trip made us try to squash the rest of the traditions into too short of a time span. But anyway, we still had fun with them.

Every year we go up to Williams, Arizona, which is by the Grand Canyon, and ride the Polar Express and spend the night in a hotel. I love this tradition. But this year, it was marred by H's TERRIBLE cold. The child could not breathe and therefore, he could not sleep, and therefore, I could not sleep and J could not sleep, and therefore, we were a bit grumpy. But the train ride itself was really fun:

Okay, I can't figure out blogger's new interface and what it's doing to my pictures (which I keep trying to tile), but oh, well. Next tradition: Sweet and I went to the Nutcracker. We sat on the front row of the balcony this year so she could see better. It was really relaxing and fun and once again, she spent the majority of the performance planning which role she would take next year.

And we made our annual gingerbread house. We tried not to let H touch too many pieces of the candy since his cold was till going full force.

Disneyland Delight

2011-12-20T15:01:00.000-08:00

The week after Thanksgiving, we took a kind-of, spur-of-the-moment trip to Disneyland with grandparents and cousins. Initially, I wondered if it would be worth spending the money to go when we'd just gone in the spring and I worried about the weather holding up (last December it rained the ENTIRE time we were in southern California). But I'm so glad we went. Spending 3 days there instead of 1 was so relaxing, and the Christmas decorations and parade were spectacular. Plus, spending time with family can't be beat. So get ready for a mother-load of pics:

This series of pics were taken after we got stuck on Splash Mountain and were escorted off through the ride. It was actually really fun.

Wiped out at Grandma and Grandpa's house:

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas

2011-12-16T21:15:00.001-08:00

Good thing, since it's NINE days away. (How did that happen?!) Anyway, we have been decked out for the holidays for a couple of weeks now. I just haven't made the time to blog about it. But Christmas-y we are, from our nails to our halls.

I thought H would dig decorating the tree, but he didn't have a lot of interest. Most of the time he did this:

I did still get a few pics of him learning how to hang the ornaments (even though taking them off is what he does best). And as the family lightweight, he was the official Star Placer this year.

No pics of the tree lot this year--we tried a Costco tree, and you don't get to see it unfurled until you bring it home, so it's kind of a gamble. But I'm happy with it. I'm not picky, as long as it smells nice and fresh. I LOVE the Christmas tree.

Someone's excited about Christmas

2011-12-13T11:11:00.001-08:00

Thanksgiving and November poem of the month

2011-11-27T20:37:00.000-08:00

I'm ending this week of Thanksgiving full--full of food, full of thanks. We kind of had a low-key Thanksgiving this year, which was relaxing and nice. Louie and Kathy came from California for the feast, the bulk of which was provided by Ron and Vickie and was delish.

We started Thanksgiving day off with the 10K Turkey Trot. It was such a beautiful morning--overcast and cool, perfect for running. I kept my eyes glued to the crazy lines and movements of the clouds over the desert butte in the distance and dreamed up a new painting, to be titled, "Anticipation." But back to the race. According to my watch, I ran it in 53 minutes, which beats my old time of 56 minutes, so I was excited about that. I wish it was an "official" time, though, but I was in line for the porta-a-potty (only THREE for a race of almost 3,000 people!!) and thought that since I had a timing chip, it wouldn't matter that I started late. Guess it did. My chip didn't register.

Then, we feasted. I made my usual: sweet potatoes, green slush, creamed corn, bacon-stuffed mushrooms.

Please feast your eyes on this beauty (the pies, not Ron, although is lookin' good with the whipped cream!). Ron made all 14 pies, as usual. He is the pie master. We had 6 adults and 6 children, so that's pretty good pie-to-person ratio--more than 1 pie per person, just like I like it. My fav was the strawberry rhubarb. Thanks, Ron!

After eating leftovers Friday and Sat night, we hung out in the backyard with the outdoor heater and talked and played with this big elastic piece of fabric that would slingshot people back and forth. The video is better, but I'm too lazy to upload it tonight:

So, I'll end with the poem of the month, called "Father, We Thank You," has been attributed to Ralph Waldo Emerson, even though The Ralph Waldo Emerson Society swears it's not by him. I found it in one of our picture books that I love to read during November. It's very simple and straightforward and doesn't need any explication, which is sometimes nice in poetry:

Father, We Thank You

For flowers that bloom about our feet,

Father, we thank You.

For tender grass so fresh and sweet,

Father, we thank You.

For song of bird and hum of bee,

For all things fair we hear or see,

Father in heaven, we thank You.

For blue of stream and blue of sky,

Father, we thank You.

For pleasant shade of branches high,

Father, we thank You.

For fragrant air and cooling breeze,

For beauty of the blooming trees,

Father in heaven, we thank You.

For rest and shelter of the night,

Father, we thank You.

For this new morning with its light,

Father, we thank You.

For health and food, for love and friends,

For everything Your goodness sends,

Father in heaven, we thank You.

The secret passageway

2011-11-19T21:30:00.000-08:00

Me: "H, what are you doing?"

H: "Um, I go Massachusetts."

If only I had known before that 5-hr flight last month.

Guess that scratch-and-sniff Thanksgiving book is really believable

2011-11-19T21:27:00.000-08:00

Sweetie, the Soccer Star

2011-11-19T21:00:00.000-08:00

Hallelujah, we're finally done with fall sports. I want to reclaim my Saturdays. I want to go to boot camp aerobics class at the gym. I want to stop carrying around in my purse a gallon of water for each child and 3 fruit snacks/fruit roll-ups per sports game for H.

Sweetie ended the season with a bang, scoring 3 of her team's goals today and saving double that on defense. Sweetie is actually very fun to watch. She's persistent, fast, determined, and all over the field. She also hates to loose, and, poor girl, she had to learn to accept loss this season, given the fact that her team was lousy.

Mister is equally glad that soccer is over because he is tired of entertaining H by playing in the dirt, running up and down the sides of the field, and looking for ants and other bugs. (Note, Mister's blue hair is from his football tournament.)

I'm thankful Sweetie played soccer this fall because it gave me a chance to focus on her strengths, to praise her for never giving up, even when her team was loosing badly, and for doing her best.

Fall flag football

2011-11-06T14:34:00.001-08:00

We're finally at the end of football season. The tournament was supposed to be last Saturday, but got rained out, so instead the team went to Peter Piper pizza, and we'll hope for good weather this Saturday (because I'm SO ready to be done with practices!). His coaches were really invested in the team this year, which was fun. It was their first time coaching, though, and many of the boys' first times playing, so they won only about 1/4 or a 1/3 of their games. Mister had a chance to play quarterback, receiver, running back, and defense.

The spectators: Sweetie reading, H wandering (after stealing Sweetie's pink hat)

Halloween

2011-11-06T12:57:00.000-08:00

Don't believe what you hear: Halloween is not just one day. It's at least a week-long affair. Here are the pics to prove it.

Halloween Decor

No pics of ours, although we certainly have plenty. But H was obsessed with the house down the street and its vampire. Whenever I took my eyes off him for a second, he was down visiting the vampire. The vampire became especially alluring when its owners started giving him lollipops too.

Ward Trunk or Treat

Our ward trunk or treat was the Friday before Halloween. We brought white-chicken chili and lots and lots of candy to pass out. I didn't take many pics because it was extremely hard to keep track of H in a dark church parking lot. We also participated in the bishopric apple-pie-eating contest. Sweetie was determined to be Hermione this year. I found most of her costume at the Salvation Army in Massachusetts. I painted the stripes on her tie and made the wizard cloak. She got the wand from a friend's Harry Potter birthday party. Mister was a whoopie cushion, thanks to a costume borrowed from his cousin Rob, and H was Peter Pan (although he insisted for a while that he was Superman). Alas, the garden gnome costume did not pan out this year. I was going to be a glow-in-the-dark stick figure, but my costume fell apart just as we were getting into the van. Maybe next year.

Class Parties

The kids and I made cupcakes for Sweetie's class party. We decided to try scary faces. Then the kids decided to try to make those scary faces on their own faces.

I helped in Mister's class by bringing in 30 baggies of candy corns and manning the bingo-game station. The school also has a Halloween parade to the tune of "Monster Mash," which is really fun.

Pumpkin Carving. Mister and Sweetie drew their own designs. I did H's to be a Dr. Jekyll/Mister Hyde pumpkin, just like H is. One minute hugs and kisses, the next minute screaming and throwing-things fits.

Pumpkin Painting with the Neighbors

Halloween Night! Our neighbors all brought their dinners out, one lit a fire in their fire pit, and we canvased the neighborhood until H had enough.

Join me

2011-11-04T14:27:00.001-07:00

at Segullah today to talk about religious motivations for choices and how to communicate these to nonreligious people.

October Poem of the Month

2011-10-31T21:44:00.001-07:00

The Red Wheelbarrow

by William Carlos Williams

so much depends
upon

a red wheel
barrow

glazed with rain
water

beside the white
chickens.

Everybody had read or heard this poem before, I know, I know. But I have always liked the celebration of simplicity in this poem and the recognition that there are basic things we depend on in life. Sometimes we just need to focus on those basics. Plus, given the business of this month, I needed something short and simple. And, really, this month, I've felt like the red wheelbarrow--like so much has depended on me and that I've been glazed over by rain or stress. But, thankfully, the rain/stress does not last and the normalcy will return. I do want to remember our goings and comings this month, so I'll list them for posterity:

a red-eye flight and 4 days in Massachusetts, painting, shopping, relaxing
a week of fall break and 3 half-days for the kids
football and piano and cub scouts for Mister
soccer and dance and piano for Sweetie
a ba-jillion birthday parties for the kids
Mister's school musical
the Western States Literacy and Rhetoric conference for me
cub scout academic fair
a baby shower to throw for a friend
the teacher appreciation dinner at school to help with
the fall festival/trunk or treat at church to attend and make food for
Halloween with its costumes to find/make
one bout of the stomach flu

Fall break

2011-10-26T21:06:00.000-07:00

So, fall break. It seems so long ago. I had just returned from a nice long visit to Massachusetts, so I was ready just to hang out with the kids and take it easy. We went on some bike rides (until the tires in the baby carrier popped), we went to a couple of parks, we made some Halloween crafts (thanks to last year's 90% off clearance at Walmart), and we went to the zoo. It was all good until the zoo at the end of the week. Then I was ready for fall break to be over. And it was!

The splash pad at the zoo

The Halloween balloons and masks we made. The pic of Mister is the paper mache masks that his class made at school. I got to go in and mask his face. Then after it had dried, they painted them.

Rain, rain, save the day

2011-10-26T19:24:00.000-07:00

Today the high temperature was 80 degrees with a cool breeze, so with dinner marinating, we went out to enjoy the dusk and we got hit by a cloudburst. With everyone drenched, we headed in for hot chocolate. After a crazy-busy and stressful day, I desperately needed some downtime. It felt like the exhale after I'd been holding a big breath.

Sweetie Loses a Tooth

2011-10-16T17:29:00.000-07:00

When I returned from Massachusetts (another post for another day), I had a few notes waiting for me from Sweetie. As you can see in the drawings, Sweetie has finally lost her first tooth. The day before I left, she told me she had a loose tooth. "Whatever," I said (because Sweetie has been claiming a loose tooth for over a year now--"I'm sure it wiggles!") But I felt it anyway, and, to my amazement, it really was loose. She was determined to have Mr. C, the principal at school pull it for her (probably because then she could bask in the extra fame and glory all day long). So she worked at it a few days, and Mr. C pulled it before I got back from the East Coast.

Here's our now one-tooth-less Sweetie:

Join me

2011-10-07T12:11:00.000-07:00

over at Segullah to talk about "Looking in the eyes, looking on the heart."

September Recap

2011-10-02T12:32:00.000-07:00

Is it still a "recap" if I never wrote about it in the first place? Regardless, here are some of our September happenings:

I had a birthday, shout, "Hooray!" Except that this is my first birthday where I haven't been thrilled about turning another year because 36 is getting closer to 40 and 40 is supposed to be middle-aged. But I am so young! Anyway, I celebrated with a hard workout at the gym, followed by plenty of over-eating as J and I went out to lunch while a friend watched H and as we picked up all of my birthday freebies for dinner. The following weekend, I made myself a birthday cake for our little family party, and, my Mom will be proud, I made a money cake with $3.60 in the cake in honor of my 36 years. Here's a pic of the overwrapped coins and bills (since you put them in the batter before cooking the cake, I was worried about the bills). Alas, I was not one of the lucky recipients of money in my piece of cake.

Other September happenings: J and I flew up to Utah for the weekend to watch the BYU/Uof U tragedy. Before the game, we got to go up in the press boxes and onto the field. After the game, we were in a state of depression. But the trip was not all sadness. We saw a movie, went shopping, went hiking, drove the Alpine Loop, got to stay with Chris and Allison, and met the whole family, minus Michael and Katie, at ZTejas for dinner one night. And we arrived back home to find the kids healthy and happy, thanks to Grandma and Grandpa, who came from California to watch them.

Also, in September, we have been experimenting with sleeping arrangements. Mister and Sweetie do not want to share a room anymore. (I keep telling Mister to wait 2 days until he's in with H and H destroys all of his lego creations, rips his books, and hides his money and candy and he will be begging for Sweetie to return.) But actually, I think I'm ready for the change too. I'm ready to kiss the bunkbeds good-bye for a while and not have to worry about H breaking his neck while my back is turned. If we switch around, though, I do loose the changing table (which will turn into Sweetie's dresser) and the rocking chair/recliner where we read H his books. We experimented for a while with one of the kids (or both) sleeping on the floor in H's room. H has this habit of singing at the top of his lungs for at least 45 minutes before he finally goes to sleep. I wanted to make sure that with someone in the room with him, he could stop the singing/screaming. It happened a couple of the nights, but definitely didn't the other nights, so for right now, we are holding steady and haven't made the switch yet.

And, of course, I can't forget the fact that this month, H has been Obsessed with "Do As I'm Doing" and "If You're Happy and You Know It". So we have been playing them ad nauseum. I think the nursery needs to expand their repertoire.

And, we got out the Halloween costumes. Despite evidence otherwise, H is not going to be a witchy princess. I am leaning towards garden knome. Except, do you think he'd keep the beard/hat on??

Will it come?

2011-09-25T21:14:00.000-07:00

What do you think: if I bake pumpkin bread and gingersnap cookies (which had all been eaten but 3 by the time I took this pic), and if I put up the Halloween and fall decorations, will fall actually come? Will the triple-digit temps go away? The kids and I thought it was worth a shot today. I hope the fall decor doesn't just end up taunting me all month . . .

I had forgotten

2011-09-10T22:29:00.000-07:00

It's 10:29pm and I just returned from the grocery store. Late-night grocery store runs usually make me grumpy. I need, NEED an hour minimum after kids go to bed to do something totally unrelated to my role as a mother or wife. Sometimes it's reading, sometimes it's creating, sometimes it's wasting time in front of the computer. Whatever it is, it's MINE. A grocery store trip does not fit the bill.

But an earlier planned trip to the grocery was postponed in favor of a child's football game, a run, a shower, a bathroom cleaning, a floor mopping, a baptism, an alma mater's football game, etc. etc. followed by pouring rain and hail and a monsoon that flooded the back porch and pelted the windows and kept me home. By the time the kids were in bed (a very late 9:15) and I swept and cleaned the floor again thanks to H's spilt milk and cracker-eating spree, I was Grouchy and Ticked.

Then I walked out the door and felt 75 degrees. Do you know what 75 degrees feels like? I had forgotten. In the desert in September, you forget what pleasant feels like. You only know squelching hot and frigid air conditioning. You don't remember ever walking out of your house to a temperature that's actually cooler than your house. It catches you off guard.

At least it did me. I stood there, in the 75-degree breeze, and let it blow away the Grouchy and the Ticked. I thought about the time and energy I had wasted today--a lot of it--on Grouchy and Ticked. I have been prone to extra grouchiness lately and I think one reason why I haven't been able to snap out of it as well is because it's been so long since I've been able to go outside for any prolonged period of time and actually enjoy it. When I'm in my house for so long, I think I tend to forget that there's more world beyond my world. My world becomes small and my thoughts become small. I had forgotten that 75 exists. I had forgotten that there is more beyond the spilt milk and the mashed crackers on my newly mopped floor. Tonight I am grateful for the late night trip that helped me remember.

It's my day to post at Segullah

2011-09-02T15:57:00.000-07:00

and I completely forgot until 9:30 last night, at which point I could think of nothing deep or profound or remotely beautiful to write. But if you want to read about my first job as a cherry sorter, head on over and add yours too.

August Poem of the Month

2011-08-30T20:08:00.001-07:00

Sheesh, how long has it been since I've done a poem of the month? MAY?! Way too long ago. This month, I'm choosing "Rain," by Raymond Williams, an interesting and fantastic poet who I studied in a grad school class at BYU. Here's the poem (and the pic is of Sweetie out with her umbrella during one of our early August monsoons):

Rain

Woke up this morning with
a terrific urge to lie in bed all day
and read. Fought against it for a minute.

Then looked out the window at the rain.
And gave over. Put myself entirely
in the keep of this rainy morning.

Would I live my life over again?
Make the same unforgiveable mistakes?
Yes, given half a chance. Yes.

I remember doing this. You know, prekids, postmarriage when I had a drudgery job and called in sick just to read all day in bed. I like Williams's move from the small (big?) decision to live how he wants on this morning to a reflection of his life decisions and seemingly "unforgiveable" mistakes.

It might seem a little strange that I would choose a poem about rain when this August we've experienced record heat here in the desert. But I thought about this poem for 2 reasons: first, last weekend J and I took turns getting up in the night with the fevered H, and so I spent some quality time in his room. Also spending quality time in his room is the noise machine, which is sometimes set for "waterfall" and sometimes for "rain." When it's set for rain, I can picture in my mind and feel throughout my body how it was to sit in a rocking chair for hours with Mister when he was a baby and when we lived in Massachusetts. I remember that rain. I remember that little baby boy who is now 8. I remember that peace. And I want to hold onto it.

Second, this poem is also about reading. And I have spent a relaxing summer with a nightstand full of books. Having been in a doctoral program for 8 years, followed 6 weeks later by the birth of a challenging baby, I haven't done a lot of consecutive, just-for-fun reading. This summer I indulged myself. My summer books read include the following:

Here If You Need Me: A True Story
Battle Hymn of a Tiger Mother
The Lost Hero
The Chosen One
Love Walked In
Wolves, Boys, and Other Things that Might Kill Me
A Discovery of Witches
Back When You Were Easier To Love
Entwined
Hex Hall
Demonglass
Girl with a Pearl Earring
A Hopeless Romantic
Lighten Up: Love What You Have, Have What You Need, Be Happier with Less
edited to add one that I forgot and that I really liked: The Hourglass. Darn those books that are the first of a series though . . .

and I'm sure some others that I can't remember right now. Of this list, I think my favorites were Here if You Need Me and the Hex Hall/Demonglass series, maybe because both surprised me. I don't usually read nonfiction since I read plenty of nonfiction in the form of scholarly books on composition or literacy or feminism, but I loved this book. It made me think, feel, and laugh. The Hex Hall books surprised me because the premise for the book (witches, vampires, blah blah blah) made me think, been there, done that. But I really liked the main character. The plot was thoroughly decent too, but the main character brought it home for me. (Added note: For anyone--like my sisters!--who wants to read something from my list, A Hopeless Romantic has sex and swearing in it--a little too much of both for my taste, and Love Walked In is beautifully written but also has a lot of swearing in it. Just to forewarn you . . . )

Alas, my summer of relaxing reading has come to an end. The last 2 weeks, I've buckled down and finally finished revising the article I sent off for submission last March to Computers and Composition. They sent it back in May for revisions but I let the lure of fun reading draw me off track. That and I can't stand revising. Very painful. I finished up my revisions this afternoon and sent off the article. Yay! But I have another waiting for me. If the kids are working, I need to get working too. Hopefully, I can find a better balance between the all-or-nothing approach of the past.

Sounds of the Day

2011-08-29T20:57:00.000-07:00

The worst sounds of the day:

The alarm clock. Usually I'm a morning person, but after a few nights of no sleep thanks to fevers following H's MMR and Hep shots, I was/am b.e.a.t.
The Cootie game being dumped out by H. Again.
The Barney "Fun on Wheels" DVD that H insists on watching when I shower. I believe I have made clear my opinion of Barney before.
Sweetie's fake sobs at losing TV privileges for tomorrow after refusing to turn the TV off today.
J's "gotcha's" and turkey gobble noises during FHE treats. Now, he does a mighty fine turkey gobble. But 50 times? There's a reason why we don't have turkeys (many reasons, actually, but that is one of them).
The sound of H's milk cup falling and bouncing around the kitchen as it distributed its contents freely after FHE.
The noise coming right now from H's bedroom. Last night it was 9:45 before he fell asleep. The kid can last.

The best sounds of the day:

An old friend's voice--ran into her at the gym this morning.
A silent monitor for 2 hrs and 45 minutes while H took a monster nap so I could almost finish making changes on my 5th draft of my article. Can't wait to finish it. Can't stand looking at it anymore.
The phone ringing and it's not a telemarketer.
The garage door going up--J's home from work!
H's smacking lips when he gives goodnight kisses.
Kids laughing together while brushing their teeth.

And the role of Fairy Godmother to the 2 princesses will now be played by . . .

2011-08-22T21:23:00.000-07:00

3 Reasons Why I'm Glad I Got to Eat Lunch with H Today

2011-08-15T20:26:00.000-07:00

1. He ate his cheese sandwich, strawberries, and Cheetos without a word of complaint.

2. He noticed that I did not put Cheetos on my plate (self-denial is easier for me the earlier it is in the day--by 8pm, I have lost all constraint). He did not like my lack of Cheetos and kept insisting I eat some. "Mommy have Cheetos. Mommy have Cheetos." What's a mom to do but cave to the child's demands?

3. He kept leaning over to give me kisses on my knee or my arm, both of which are acceptable places, even for cheese-covered little lips.

Speaking of lips, while I was in the shower today, H found Sweetie's play dress-up lipstick, which she had assured me was carefully hidden and out of H's reach. I should not have taken her at her word, seeing as how last week the pack of gum that she thought was carefully hidden and out of H's reach turned out not to be. Sweetie climbed the ladder to her top bunk to go to bed, only to be greeted by a small mound of chewed up gum on her sheet--all of the gum in the pack. It was mint-flavored and H is not partial to mint. But he had to be sure that ALL of the pieces were minty. Poor H. He must have been so disappointed. And poor Sweetie. She spent her allowance on that gum and wailed like it was a year's worth of allowance instead of 1/4 of a month's worth (after savings and tithing). And poor Mom, who had to clean up the mound of gum.

But anyway, today's shower trade-off made for a cute pic, and the lipstick didn't get on much else besides his lips (er, I mean his face). He also smeared a generous helping of shampoo and gel on his hair. He wasn't so happy with the gel after it dried in spikes that felt like they were cement. "Mom, hair hurt," he said to me, very puzzledly. Despite his escapades, we are loving the stage of life that H is in. He says the funniest things and is the most loving little boy. What would we do without H?

First day of school!

2011-08-10T20:32:00.000-07:00

Sweetie, the first grader

Mister, the third grader

H, the tag-along

The first-day-of-school cake and cupcakes. (The cupcakes have chocolate-dipped pretzel crayons with printables from here and airhead books, idea from here.)

H, with rashes from (I'm guessing) the egg-full batter of the first-day-of-school cake and cupcakes.

We walked the kids to their classrooms this morning, with sweat rolling down our backs and with arms full of a load of school supplies. Mister is usually the one who is nervous about any change, the one who has trouble sleeping days before a new event. But this morning he was very nonchalant about the whole first-day-of-school thing. No second hugs (in fact, he probably barely tolerated the first hug), no smiling for the camera. He went into his classroom and got to business unloading his stuff. No big deal.

Sweetie, on the other hand, has been up at night, scared for the first day. This morning she barely touched her pancake and eggs and would hardly crack a smile for the camera. Last year she could hardly wait for her turn to start school, for eating in the lunchroom, and riding the bus. Maybe this year she knows it's not all fun and games?

After school, though, she was bubbling with details about her class nickles and the music performance this year. Her only complaint about first grade is that there's only 2 recesses instead of the 4 that they have in kindergarten. Mister had plenty of complaints about third grade, though, some of them related to his teacher and others related to schedule (no lunch until 1:05?! That's a long time for my skinny boy to wait to eat!). He told me tonight that he wants to go back to second grade.

As for me, there are times that I wouldn't mind going back in time too. I really can't believe that Mister is already in third grade. It seems like just a blink of an eye ago that he started school. Milestones like today are good for shaking me up a bit and helping me realize how blessed I am to be able to love these people for eternity.

The last week of summer

2011-08-08T13:44:00.000-07:00

The kids start school this Wednesday, so we've been trying to finish off the things from our Spectacular Summer 2011 list. Of course, we managed to finish everything in the "Play" category, but we did pretty well with the other categories too. This past week we had our annual readathon in a pile of pillows and blankets and with caramel corn. We also went swimming a couple of times. My favorite was at the local clubhouse and beach with the church group. And we visited 2 museums: The Natural History museum and the Children's Museum. We went to the latter on Free Friday and it was cah-ray-zy. We still had fun with the "car wash" and the noodle forest and the climber, among other things.

At the Natural History museum, we looked at the dinosaurs (H loved them), put together wooley mammoth puzzles (and then pretending to be speared by it), broke out of jail, and panned for gold, which we should have done last because H did not grasp the pan-for-gold concept and simply poured water over his head and clothes.

We also used our Groupon to go to BounceU on family bounce night, which was really fun! The kids loved it and J even got into the action with the inflatable basketball game, inflatable t-ball, and the bouncer with the balls that you shoot at each other. I took H on the slides again and again and again and again until I made him figure out how to climb up by himself. I didn't bring my camera but attempted a few pics with my phone, which, sadly, does not cut it with the sliding action.

Tonight is Meet the Teacher, so school will seem more "real" then. Tomorrow we'll try to celebrate our last day of summer and then I'll be posting back-to-school pics!

Segullah is slow today!

2011-08-05T13:49:00.000-07:00

But I'm over there talking about God's works. Come join me!

2011-08-04T22:26:00.000-07:00

Today I was ready for school to start. Last night Mister had a late night at a friend's and Sweetie was not to be outdone, so she also stayed up until 10pm, and, of course, Mister's body has never known how to sleep past the crack of dawn. Both were grouchy, fighting and arguing. Doors were slammed, trains were thrown, etc. etc. I had planned on going to the pool this afternoon, but it seems that last time we were there, I left my pass and my driver's license. So, no swimming for us, and hopefully, no tickets for me until I get that little beauty replaced. Instead, we set up the Little People and resurrected the trains from the garage and the old games (Cootie, High Ho Cherry-O, Mr. Mouth) from the closet (I left Candyland, Lucky Ducks, and Hungry Hungry Hippos up there--I am not that desperate yet).

Tonight Mister and Sweetie had late nights here at our house with friends. The boys played board games and video games and ate cookies and ice cream sundaes. The girls turned their ice cream sundaes into soup-like mixtures, they painted, played Cootie, got out the paper dolls, and watched a little bit of Tinkerbell. H thought he was a big kid until we made him go to bed at 8:30. He giggled at the paper dolls, pounded the extra Cootie into the table until he broke it, slurped his ice cream, and stuffed Reeses into his mouth as fast as he could, barely chewing one up before asking for another one with his little teeth smeared with chocolate.

So now it is 10:37 and the kids have been in bed for only 24 minutes and I am soaking up this little bit of quiet before I crash and before we start all over again in the morning, hopefully without the fighting and with the missing driver's license found.

Little H turns TWO!

2011-07-29T17:33:00.001-07:00

Our little H is no longer very little. While we were in California, he had his second birthday. We celebrated with a memory game of pictures of H over his 2 very eventful years of life and with the balloon-around-the ankle, try-to-pop-everyone-else's balloon game. I don't think the people renting the downstairs of the beach house appreciated the latter game, but oh well. We also had presents, of course, and cake. H was very much looking forward to blowing out his candles and to the singing of Happy Birthday. We practiced a lot at home because he loved it so much. On the actual day, though, he seemed more overwhelmed by the number of people present to wish him a happy birthday. Since he is still highly allergic to eggs, I bought him 2 vegan red velvet cupcakes from Sprinkles while the rest of us ate massive amounts of the 9-pound Costco cake. H rejected the cupcakes and instead kept sticking his finger and spoon in the frosting of the Costco cake.

Here are some of the reasons why we are so so glad that H joined our family just over 2 years ago:

* His hugs and kisses. He often grabs my legs and says, "Up, peez" and only wants to give me a hug and kiss. He also thinks it's hilarious to kiss people's collarbones.

* His copycatting. H is a little parrot these days, and you know what they say: imitation is the more sincere form of flattery, right?

* His comic relief. H is a jokester and a tease. It's fun to see his personality come out. He also has some hilarious dance moves, and in H's book, any words or random sounds can be sung to the tune of the alphabet song. He also named his favorite blanket "Caffrun."

* His "help". He insists on helping vacuum, sweep, bake (a dangerous endeavor for an egg-allergic kid), and pick up.

* His expressions: "Um," "Yep," "Nope," "Yikes," "Yeah,"

A few random things about H to record for the future:

favorite foods: pasta, grapes, raisins, chocolate chips, fruit snacks

favorite songs: Bingo, She'll Be Comin' Round the Mountain, Wheels on the Bus

favorite TV show: he won't watch them, but he loooves Elmo. And in the car, he likes our only DVD of Barney (heaven help us all)

favorite toys: bikes and scooters but when we have to be indoor, like the present time, his favorites are the plastic animals, playdoh, trains (a new favorite), his plastic golf clubs, and games--Bingo, Hullaballoo, and Cariboo

Our California Vacation

2011-07-26T22:04:00.000-07:00

Warning: This post contains more pictures than you ever wanted to see unless you are one of my children, who are completely enthralled with their own image on the computer screen.

We had such a nice vacation (if you don't count the first night when H was up from 2-4:30 in the middle of the night, crying, "Mom bed! Mom bed!" and then when Sweetie was crying because, after shuffling around the sleeping arrangements, H was trying to kick her out of the bed that he, she, and I were sharing. He eventually won. She cried some more when we moved her to the floor.) But I'm not counting that night.

For the first half, we vacationed with just our little family in Carlsbad and San Diego. We stayed in the Hilton Garden Inn on Carlsbad Beach, and we loved it! Everything from their swimming pool (with complimentary otter pops) to the nightly cookies at the front desk to the beach location, to the shuttle to take us to the better beach 2 miles down, to the fireplace in the gardens, to the comfy beds and blackout curtains that helped us all sleep to a record 9:30 the morning after the "Mom bed!" fiasco,to the in-room fridge and microwave so we could save money and eat breakfasts/lunches in the room or in the gardens, and to the family movies overlooking the beach (they provided the blankets and popcorn).

We had plenty of beach time. We also ate good seafood and Mexican food in Old Town San Diego. We rented bikes and biked around Coronado Island. We tried to go tidepooling but Point Loma was closed (boo!). And we spent a day at Sea World, along with what seemed like everyone else in Carlsbad.

For the second half of the trip, we made our way up to Newport Beach and joined the rest of the extended P family in a beach house. The kids absolutely loved hanging out with their cousins. We took a quick break from the beach to visit Grandma Shirley at a park. We had a great time and are so grateful for good in-laws/parents who did so much work to make the vacation relaxing and fun. It was good to reconnect with family.

Deep Thoughts Hijacked by Silly Memories

2011-07-24T22:07:00.001-07:00

Since today is Pioneer Day, I've been thinking about the summer between my 2 years of grad school at BYU. I spent that summer living in Salt Lake City and working at the Church Office Building for the Liahona magazine as an editorial intern. That summer (1997) also happened to be the 150th anniversary of the pioneers' entrance into the Salt Lake Valley, so the magazine was flooded with pioneer-this and pioneer-that. After a few months, I never wanted to hear about the pioneers again.

However, after a few months, I knew I also would never hear about the pioneers with the same mindset again. Since the Liahona is the Church's international magazine, I read countless stories of people acting as pioneers in their own countries and in their own families, with little support and with many miles to travel in difficult circumstances in order to gather with other Saints or simply to get a temple recommend, not to mention actually attending the temple. The stories touched me deeply and I kept a number of my favorites that we published.

So tonight I dug out my 3-subject notebook that served as my journal during that summer--back when I used to write almost every day (imagine!). I wanted to read by deep thoughts about the work I'd been involved in that summer. I wanted to see if the memories I had about the stories and their impact on me matched up with what I'd written about my time working on these articles. Imagine my surprise when I realized that, lo, and behold, I had no such deep thoughts that summer. Instead, I wrote a lot about the fabulous thunderstorms from the front-row seat of my apartment balcony (which makes my previous post kind of ironic--have I not changed? Still writing about thunderstorms), I recorded my silly romantic daydreams and I tried (or thought I was trying) to get over a certain boy (by writing about him? hmmmm), I wrote about how hard it is to write while downing Haagen Daz sorbet, I recorded treasured memories with my brother and wondered if he would be the same when he got back from the mission he left on that summer, and I wrote about my growing relationship with the city I was living in and the roommates I was living with. But mostly, I wrote about boys and heartbreak and the lack of boys and the unknown future.

I guess it doesn't surprise me that I left the deep thoughts in the Church Office building instead of bringing them home to my journal--after a day of pioneers, I was ready to change the subject. And I guess I'm glad (kind of) that I recorded what I did, even though much of my writing seems overly dramatic and silly to me now. On the other hand, I suppose heartbreak is always dramatic to the person whose heart has been broken. I do wish, though, that my journal showed a little more depth. (Did I not have depth as a 21-year-old?!) In any case, my deep thoughts today, like my supposed deep thoughts 14 years ago, were hijacked by drama, romance, and, of course, the lightning.

Change is in the air.

2011-07-24T22:02:00.000-07:00

We opted for a family movie tonight instead of family game night, so we ended a little later than usual and J turned off the outside lights and then called for us to come outside. The air was warm, but not hot, and a little breezy, and the night sky was alive with flashes of lightning, some in sharp zags and others in cloud-lit bursts (photo courtesy of wunderground.com). I could smell the rain in the air.

The monsoons aren't the only changes upon us. We're back from our week in California and at dinner time the kids counted down the days (with dread!) until school starts again: 16. When they said that, I felt the pit in my stomach. Really? The end of summer vacation? It can't be. Every once and a while, I wake up to the fact that the accumulation of every average, ordinary day equals time past that I can't get back. Another summer vacation gone. It's going to take me all 16 days we have left to get used to the idea.

Contentment

2011-07-15T11:04:00.000-07:00

Even though I haven't posted much the past few weeks, I have been looking at my blog. I've been trying to finish uploading and making my blog from 2008-2010 into 3 separate blurb books before my groupons expired. I made the deadline by an hour and a half, but it was a lot of work. Reading back over the past 3 years of posts, though, made me nostalgic and renewed my determination to keep blogging (even if I used to get around 10-15 comments and now I get 0!) I don't have a good long-term memory and I easily forget what we did and how I felt. As I read over my posts, I felt a deep sense of contentment and gratitude for the family I have, the life I live, the opportunities that have been mine.

As I've been a slave to blurb, the kids have been fighting, reading, practicing the piano, playing the Wii, eating popsicles, swimming, playing with friends, building forts, making glow-in-the-dark bugs, going bowling, playing play doh, etc. etc.

We've also been getting ready for our San Diego trip by learning about some of the animals we'll see at Sea World. Here's the kids with their penguins, which we made to show about countershading, and their shortening finger/blubber experiments.

The million-dollar boy

2011-07-15T10:54:00.000-07:00

H is our million-dollar boy in 2 ways: first, by the time he reaches age 10, I predict that the things he will have broken or destroyed will total a million dollars. That counts the pickle relish he dumped all over the floor and the cost of the acrylic paint, the clothes, and the carpet that he ruined when he decided that the office needed a little more "raw sienna" to liven it up. (Both of those events occurred yesterday.) Second, he is our million-dollar boy because I fully expect him to pay me back one day when he makes it big. You know, one day when the characteristics of determination, drive, curiosity, and aggressiveness will create award-winning sports plays or big gains in business/industry rather than creating big messes.

4th of July Festivities

2011-07-13T17:18:00.000-07:00

Despite my vows not to stay in the desert another year for the 4th, here we were. Luckily, fireworks were legal this year, so we had the "cul de sac of fire," thanks to J, aka Crazy Pyromaniac.

We also celebrated the 4th with a huge breakfast, followed by some patriotic youtube videos and a matinee showing of Cars. We then went swimming all afternoon and had a fabulous rib dinner, courtesy of family. Despite the heat, it was a very fun day, and I am grateful for the freedom I have to decide what I want to do with my life.

The diving board fun: Sweetie did cartwheels and a front flip, Mister a twisting front flip, and H had to get in on the action too. That kid is fearless.

It's my Friday at Segullah

2011-07-01T08:30:00.000-07:00

and I almost forgot. If you want to talk about what's American, then join me over there.

Typical H

2011-06-28T22:39:00.000-07:00

J was out of town last weekend. Again. So I braved taking the kids to see Kung Fu Panda 2. It was H's first time going to the movies. At first he was enamored with the popcorn and candy. Then he oohed and aahhed a bit over the panda bear onscreen. But after 45 minutes, he was no longer impressed and started wandering the isles a bit. I let him because there weren't many people in the theater. Thankfully, the movie wasn't long and extra thankfully, he didn't pull the fire alarm until after the movie was over. That's right. The fire alarm. Oh, H. So typical. I have to say that I kind of think it's the movie theater's fault. Who puts fire alarms within easy reach of a 23-month-old with the only trigger being that you have to lift up on it? Please.

I have decided that after being mother to H, I should hire out my now refined disaster-avoidance mentality: before I get in the shower or even leave the room, I do a thorough prevention scan, thinking, "What can I move, tie down, throw away, put up, etc, so that H does not create a disaster." As you might imagine, living in such a heightened state of awareness all the time is pretty exhausting. But if it can come in handy by making me money at movie theaters, it will have all been worth it.

Actually, it usually is all worth it because another thing that is typical H is his kissing, especially since he figured out he could make noises while kissing. Even better. The boy's a lover AND a fighter. If he has to be the latter, at least he is also the former. We can't get enough of his kisses and there are oh so many to go around these days.

Oh what do you do in the summertime

2011-06-28T22:11:00.000-07:00

We are a month into our summer vacation now, and we've been going full-force. Here's the list we brainstormed at the beginning of summer:

As you can see, we've been busy. The first few weeks, the kids had swim team every morning and a swim meet once a week.

So, they were busy racking up ribbons, but other than that, we went swimming most afternoons and they did a lot of this and other kickback things (see the DS there--or maybe J's i-touch):

But the last week has been craziness. On top of swim team, Mister started basketball camp (2 weeks); he's at cub scout day camp this week (2:15-11pm); both kids did a cooking class (thanks, Groupon!) and made fruit gummies, flour tortillas, and taco torpedoes; and Sweetie has a sewing class this week.

J was gone 2 weekends in a row, and, as for me, I am tired. Do you think the heat might have something to do with it? YIKES!

(Note: I totally stole this picture from my friend, so it's her car and her seat belt that was not securely fastened.)

Insane abs and eyes

2011-06-28T17:33:00.000-07:00

So, I haven't posted for a while. I never finished updating our May happenings. If you haven't seen me in a while, I am SURE you will notice 2 differences. First, J and I have been doing the Insanity diet and workouts (well, let's be honest, I have been doing the Insanity workouts. J has been doing the golf workout with occasional treadmill and Insanity workout). So, when you do see us next, I am sure that you will notice our INSANELY fit bodies. Here's a preview:

And, second, you will notice that I am no longer wearing glasses or contacts because I had Lasik at the end of May. It was actually not a pleasant experience and was much different than I thought it would be. I had PRK instead of Lasik because my corneas are too thin. But my doctor did not do a good job explaining the differences or the expectations. (I only found out that my corneas were too thin for traditional Lasik the day before the surgery.) He told me to expect blurriness for 2 weeks, not to drive for 4-5 days after the surgery, and a longer recovery time as far as "foreign object sensation" and scratchiness goes because we were working on the surface of the eye. That was an understatement. I was in so much pain from Wed-Sat morning. On Sat morning, the pain magically went away. I pretty much stayed in my room with the blinds, curtains, and a blanket over the windows and let J fend for the rest of the family (including feeding, clothing, running around, and taking H to urgent care for strep one night), all while he was trying to work from home. J was so great to me that I didn't say a word when we went golfing 3 times the next week. I emerged out of my room Saturday to a mound of dishes and a house that looked so light I thought we'd been transfigured (at least until I saw the mound of dishes).

My follow-up appointment was the next Tuesday, the doctor took the clear adhesive bandages off my corneas, and said they were healing nicely, but it took another 2 weeks before the blurriness went away. I'm still waiting for my "best" vision, which should occur around the 2-month post-surgery mark, at which time I will probably be seeing so well that I expect to be seeing through things, right?

I couldn't post updates without updating you all on the perfect condition of my eyes and muscles :)

2011-06-28T17:31:00.000-07:00

The second week of June, we spent 5 days in St. George with my parents, 6 siblings and their spouses, nieces, and nephews. We had a great time hiking in Zions and in Snow Canyon, swimming in the condo pools, playing at the splash park in St. George, and hanging out together. J also had a great time playing golf with the guys 2 different mornings, and Sweetie and I went toThe Little Mermaid at Tuacahn with the girls on Friday night. I took plenty of pics, as you can see!

We loved our vacation and wish we could have spent more time together. The only drawback was that H was a zoo. I don't know if it's because we started off the trip by arriving at 10:30pm, so his sleeping schedule was off or if it's because his siblings decided cousins were more interesting than their little brother and paid him no attention, or if it was just his ornery side coming through in full-force. Either way, we were glad to have our more somewhat "normal" H back when we got home.

This morning's workout was brought to me by . . .

2011-06-25T18:39:00.001-07:00

summertime sledding in the desert.

I'm talking about prayer

2011-06-03T10:53:00.000-07:00

over at Segullah today.

Endings and beginnings

2011-05-29T18:50:00.000-07:00

The kids finished up their school year this past Thursday with a week of movies, water parties, etc. in school. Plus, it seemed like everybody and their dog needed to squeeze in a birthday party before school ended. I am happy to see the days of make-a-project-entirely-out-of-paper and make-a-working-volcano-and-diorama come to an end, although I don't know how much more relaxing summer vacation will be since I signed Mister and Sweetie up for swim team for the first year, so we'll be at the pool, hanging out from 7:50-9:20 Monday thru Thursdays in the sweltering heat. (And by "hanging out" I mean keeping H from getting in the pool, going into the men's locker room, going into the women's locker room, and breaking the drinking fountain and vending machine dividers by banging on them with all his might.)

But anyway, so we have the ending of a really, really good school year for both kids, especially for Mister who truly thrived with this particular second-grade teacher. With the ending of the school year came the end of the community karate class the kids begged to take (and then complained to no end about actually attending). Here's a pic from their last class and with each one displaying one of the basic moves or stances that they learned:

And the end of swim lessons. I signed them up for 1 session because both were very nervous about having to swim the length of the pool for swim team. So I figured a refresher session would help them remember their strokes. Here's they are diving and Sweetie doing the butterfly. Here, also, is little H, who took a 10-minute individual lesson, which he hated, but he did great in. You can see one of the teachers dropping him into the pool. He learned to turn around and kick to the side and reach up, then "monkey walk" along the edge to the steps. He also learned to roll over and float on his back (although he didn't quite master the floating-on-his-back in just 1 session). He cried at the beginning of every lesson, but he always wanted to get his swim suit on when the kids got theirs on, so it must not have been too traumatic.

And here's Sweeite at the swim team clinic, trying to make it across the entire pool.

So, just as we end many things, we begin others. I'm excited for the summer and so are the kids. As I was tucking them into bed tonight, I told them that tomorrow is Memorial Day, a day for pancakes and swimming and barbecuing and being with family. And Sweetie, after reminding Mister that he needed to make sure he repented now that he is 8, said, "And a day for laughing all we want?" Yes, that sounds like a perfect plan, Sweetie. A day for laughing all we want.

(1) A breezy, cool evening bike ride as a family, (2) brownies from caring and considerate neighbors, (3) eyes that are no longer in pain, even if they can't really see this screen

Mister's Baptism

2011-05-29T16:24:00.000-07:00

Mister's baptism was a special and almost surreal experience. It seems we've talked about getting baptized for, well, eight years now, so it was strange to actually have the event for which we've tried to prepare him come and go. Big milestones like these make me think about if I live in the moment enough as a mother.

Anyway, we were so glad to have both sets of grandparents and one family of cousins/aunt/uncle here to participate in the baptismal service and to celebrate Mister's decision with us. We also feel blessed to have good friends, neighbors, ward members, a school teacher, and a Primary teacher come to support us and to act as our family when other family members couldn't be there.

Lots of tomato sauce stains means . . .

2011-05-29T16:03:00.000-07:00

Grandpa Louie's in town, making his much-loved sauce and meatballs! One of the reasons for his visit is the subject of the next post.

Catching up: Sweetie's birthday

2011-05-29T15:38:00.000-07:00

I'm forever playing catch-up with my blog. And sometimes with my life. Oh well, here's a quick report on Sweetie's sixth birthday. We spent most of the day in the car, coming back from California, but we still managed to go around and collect her birthday freebies ( 3 meals, including her favorite ribs; 1 sub sandwich, and a dozen donuts). We also opened birthday presents that night. The next weekend we had her cake and ice cream and games when her cousins could come celebrate. At the last minute, I decided to make her a Tangled tower on her cake and it was only moderately successful. :) We played Sweetie Jeopardy and guessed at the facts of her birth day, how old she was in certain pics, and her favorites. How grateful we are for Sweetie. We love her laugh, her wit, her imagination, and her offers of help.

What a bunch of characters

2011-05-11T20:36:00.000-07:00

In lieu of birthday parties this year, we decided to hit the happiest place on earth. We had a great time with not many lines and a lot of sun. We only stopped for pics with these 2 characters, though, because they happened to be around while J and Mister were taking their turn on California Screamin'. Otherwise, we couldn't pause for pics with characters when there were rides to be ridden and cotton candy, Nestle cookie ice creams, popcorn, and churros to be eaten (we skipped dinner in favor of pure treats).

Mister went on all of the rides, of course, and even braved the Tower of Terror twice just so I would have someone to go with (even though he didn't like the ride--what a great kid!) Sweetie was brave enough and tall enough this time around to go on all of the rides but California Screamin'. She actually liked Space Mountain, refused to go on Thunder Mountain Railroad again, and loved Soarin' over California. H loved all the rides we put him on, although he was a little worried about Pirates at first. He was enthralled by Small World and cried at the end of King Tritan's carousel. I thought he would be fighting to get out of his stroller the entire day, but there was enough to see and enough rides for him to ride that he did so well.

Jungle Cruise and Pirates

Bumper cards and It's a Bug's Life Rides

Small World and happy kids!

While in SoCal visiting Disney and visiting Grandma and Grandpa, we also managed a trip to the beach. It was close to evening, though, and a little on the cold side. That didn't stop the kids, of course.

Catching up: Piano Recital

2011-05-08T15:36:00.001-07:00

We crashed another piano teacher's piano recital so the kids could have a chance to memorize a piece and perform it for an audience. They each played 2 pieces and did very well.

Catching up: Mister turns EIGHT

2011-05-08T15:17:00.000-07:00

An 8 year old. How can it be that I have an 8 year old. I don't know, but I will keep him. He is sensitive, kind, helpful, fun, and obedient. I'm so glad that I get to be his mother.

And, this year, he was particular--he had definite plans for his birthday. Those plans included having his cousins over for a dinner of wings, little smokies, and mashed potatoes, followed by games (spoons and speed), followed by presents and cake--confetti with white frosting and blue writing. See--a boy who knows what he wants. And that's what he got! I didn't get any pics of the food, though, because we were too busy eating it.

Catching up: Easter

2011-05-08T14:51:00.001-07:00

We had a great Easter--dying eggs in the park with friends on Good Friday:

And then on Sunday, eating dinner and finding eggs with cousins. We're so glad we live by family:

At first, H thought finding random things in the yard was more fun than finding eggs.

Until he realized what was inside of them. Then, he figured he might as well get right down to business and eat as he went.

What cute kids!

Tangled

2011-05-07T16:26:00.000-07:00

Sweetie, playing Rapunzel on the stairs, using the paper packaging from the new computer monitor. H had a grand old time with the boxes too. New computer monitor, new paper, new boxes, good times for all.

I'm over at Segullah today

2011-05-06T16:34:00.000-07:00

blogging about Recipes and Remembrances.

Do you think I should be blogging?

2011-04-26T21:14:00.001-07:00

when it's 9pm and I just finished the dinner dishes from last night (no time during the day to unload the clean ones from the dishwasher) and when I have 29 ice cream cone cupcakes to frost for Mister's class birthday treat for tomorrow, 6 loads of laundry to finish folding, and one 200-page dissertation to finish editing before Friday? (not my dissertation, thank heavens, but a little side job I took on that is taking over my free time). And to think that on the stair master at 6:00 this morning, I actually thought I might have 30 minutes to scrapbook one of Mister's past birthday's before his next birthday. (You know, it's kind of a lofty goal I have: scrapbook one past birthday before the next birthday. So Mister's scrapbook right now contains pictures of his birth, his third birthday, and his fourth birthday. Think I'll catch up anytime soon?!)

But I am in a pensive mood tonight. Maybe because it's the eve of my first child's eighth birthday, and I have been thinking about his birth because my little sister just gave birth to her first baby, also a boy. Wasn't it just 2 or 3 years ago that Mister was born? How did this 8-year-old thing happen? (And just for the record, I think we ought to revisit the accountable-at-age-eight principle because I look at my sweet, naive, obedient boy and I do not want him to be accountable yet--I don't think that he is ready. And I don't think that I have prepared him enough.)

A few months ago a friend asked me if my life so far has turned out as I expected it would. I didn't answer her right away. Outwardly, yes, my life looks much like I anticipated it would: I always thought I would get a graduate degree, although I thought I would stop at a master's, I always thought I would be married and would have children, I always thought we would own our own home, cars, etc. I always knew I would stay active in the LDS church. But I could never have expected the inner happenings of my life: I did not know that I would ache so badly to have a child before being able to have one. I did not know that I would love motherhood as much as I do, and I did not know that motherhood would be as hard as it has been and is. I didn't expect post-partum depression or occasional feelings of being stifled by motherhood. In other words, I don't know how I possibly could have anticipated both the highs and the lows.

Same thing for marriage: J and I just celebrated our eleventh anniversary on Friday (at Benihanas, hence the pic).

The five-year-old girl in this picture

and the almost 25-year-old girl in this picture

had no idea how many moments of pure joy and togetherness I would feel during the next 11 years or how much fun marriage would be. But she also could never have expected how much work it is and how angry she could get at her husband or how lonely she might sometimes feel, even in the midst of a good marriage, or how very, very hard it is to be truly unselfish and to let things go rather than hold on and let them fester.

So, there you go, random thoughts for tonight. Too random to rap up nicely (and too much effort to do so when the cupcakes and the dissertation editing await). If you want to view something a little lighter, go check out Sweetie's and Mister's entries in the Frost Family Peeps contest, a la the Washington Post's famous Peeps contest. Sweetie's is the last entry in the slide show and Mister's is the second-to-last entry.

Sweetie sings!

2011-04-18T21:37:00.000-07:00

One constant in Sweetie's life is music. She's quite gifted on the piano and has no fear of singing in front of people. She sang a solo in church last Sunday. Here she is doing some practicing:

[oops, can't get the video to work--maybe later]

And she sang in the kindergarten musical last month, which I didn't get around to blogging about, given all of the spring break festivities. So here she is in the kindergarten production of Goldilocks and the Three Bears. We had many tears over the fact that she did not get chosen to be Goldilocks and would not get to skip down the center isle or pretend to sit in the booby-trapped chair before falling in. In fact, the morning of the musical, she refused to go sing because she wasn't Goldilocks. So I bribed her with lipstick-wearing privileges. Worked like a charm.

After the performance, we were headed to frozen yogurt, but H was screaming, Mister and Sweetie were fighting, and J was gone on a trip, so I flipped a fast u-turn and we went home. We did go for ice cream the next night when we all had our tempers in check and our wits about us (and our jammies about us--no harm in going places in your jammies. I'm a fan of the practice). Plus, little H needed to be introduced to the goodness of Cold Stone (until you add gummy bears to it, which is what all 3 of the kids did. Puh-lease. Way to ruin a good sweet cream).

Oh how I love

2011-04-18T21:25:00.000-07:00

a little boy in jammies. Unless it's the middle of the night. Then I do not want to see the little boy in jammies, no matter how cute he is (and he is oh-so-cute).

Spring break, days 3-5

2011-04-04T17:01:00.000-07:00

Sheesh, now spring break seems like months ago instead of 2 1/2 weeks ago. But I feel duty-bound to blog about our fun, especially day 3's fun because we went hiking with fun friends to some very cool petroglyphs. The hike was 3 miles and Sweetie didn't even complain (until the very end). Yay, Sweetie! Little H, however, complained in the form of kicking my back at the end of the hike to the petroglyphs, but promptly fell asleep on the way down after our picnic lunch, despite my very best keep-awake tactics. There were drawings all over these rocks. The kids had so much fun exploring them, and we even spotted a Gila monster (and kept our distance, as they are poisonous).

Day 4 was St. Patrick's Day, and we had a heat wave in the upper 80s. Mister and Sweetie convinced me to let them each invite a few friends over in the afternoon for water balloon fights, silly string fights, and water play with the slip n' slide and the wiggly sprinklers. It was crazy. We went to the park down the street for the silly string and water balloon fights. I filled over 60 water balloons and they were gone in 3 minutes easy. Craziness. We came back to the house for the water play and for green snacks--green cupcakes, celery with peanut butter, and grapes. I didn't get any pics of the water fun and food because I was way too frazzled by the sheer number of people who were asking for towels and drinks and more food and the sprinkler that didn't work, etc. etc. By the end of Day 4, I was ready for a break from spring break.

Luckily, my break came in the form of visitors--my in-laws from California came the night of Day 4, so we got to relax and hang out with them and say "no" to friends for the rest of spring break. Yay! Friday, Day 5, we went to Amococo, the famous architecture of light, at the local Fine Arts center. Their web site says: "Amococo is the most labyrinthine luminarium, featuring as it does 86 triaxial domes and 71 pods that together create a complex of pathways where the visitors may happily lose themselves." It was pretty cool, except that it was pretty hot inside and we waited far too long to get in. H was literally bouncing off the walls when we finally got inside.

So, in all, we had a great spring break. No more "breaks" now until summer. Yikes!

April's poem of the month and some random thoughts

2011-04-03T21:55:00.000-07:00

Look at me being early with the poem of the month. I was thinking of this one last night and this morning. It's called "When I Am Among the Trees," by Mary Oliver. You might think it kind of strange that I have been thinking of a poem called, "When I Am Among the Trees," given that in the desert of the southwest, we have very few trees. For Oliver (or for the persona speaking in the poem), the trees are crucial to her slowing down and realizing the simplicity and purpose in her life. I understand that, having grown up loving the mountains for the same reason. But these reminders to not hurry through the world and to be filled with light also come from spiritual sources for me.

Last night while J was at the priesthood session of the general conference for our church, the kids and I picked up a Little Caesars pizza and headed to the park. We played kickball, people watched, and timed each other on made-up obstacle courses through the play equipment. (Watch out! I can slide and balance beam with the best of them--just don't make me do the monkey bars.) The sun left brilliant pink streaks in the sky, the air was perfectly warm, and I was perfectly content and overwhelmingly thankful. I felt as Mary Oliver writes in this poem, convinced of the need for simplicity, "to go easy, to be filled with light." I wanted to remember not to "hurry through the world but walk slowly, and bow often."

I have a problem with walking slowly--I multi-task and multi-task and multi-task. And I get a lot done in life. But life is usually not about getting things done and sometimes I need J to remind me of that (he's good at balancing me out in that respect) and sometimes I need a spring/summer night with my kids to remind me of that. So here's Mary Oliver's fabulous poem. (By the way, April is the National Month of Poetry. Do you have a favorite?)

When I Am Among the Trees

by Mary Oliver

When I am among the trees,

especially the willows and the honey locust,

equally the beech, the oaks and the pines,

they give off such hints of gladness,

I would almost say that they save me, and daily.

I am so distant from the hope of myself,

in which I have goodness, and discernment,

and never hurry through the world

but walk slowly, and bow often.

Around me the trees stir in their leaves

and call out “Stay awhile.”

The light flows from their branches.

And they call again, “It’s simple,” they say,

“and you too have come

into the world to do this, to go easy, to be filled

with light, and to shine.”

I forgot to ask you to join me

2011-04-02T22:17:00.000-07:00

over here to talk about April Fools' Day. And by the way, whenever I type "April Fools' Day" I accidentally type April Food Day, maybe because my laptop keys are still not properly attached after 1 min in little H's nimble fingers. But no matter the reason, I think the recurrence of this typo is a sign that an April Food Day is truly needed. Who's with me?!)

Poem of the month: March

2011-03-31T23:52:00.001-07:00

I still haven't blogged about the rest of spring break and our other going-ons. It might have something to do with a certain little destructive person in our home pulling off half of the keys on my laptop. . . .

Regardless, I did want to quickly post a poem of the month. This poem by Mormon writer Joanna Brooks is timely for me right now, as last Tuesday we had the birthday celebration for the Relief Society, the women's organization in our church. I wrote a reader's theater for our celebration, and it gave me the chance to remember and to reverence the great women who make up my history as a member of the Relief Society. This poem is also timely because of general conference this weekend, a time when we Latter-day Saints listen to council from the general leaders of our church. I look forward to this time and have such great memories associated with this time of year. These 2 events this week have reminded me, as Joanna Brooks says in this poem, "How wonderful it is to have a people to love." While Mormon culture has its negatives, there is still much to love in the history and traditions of my people. Like Brooks, I hope for "a quilt with no edges" and the courage, vision, and strength it will take to realize that.

Invocation/Benediction

by Joanna Brooks, published in Exponent II 30.3 (2010): 19.

Father, Mother, help me piece together the contradictions of my life:

White cotton, red satin, brown polka dot; torn Sunday dress, Navajo rug, frayed baby blanket.

Make me insistent on every lonely shred, willing to sacrifice no one.

Where there is no pattern, God, give me courage to organize a fearsome beauty.

Where there is unraveling, let me draw broad blanket stitches of sturdy blue yarn.

Mother, Father, give me vision.

Give me strength to work hours past my daughters' bedtime.

Give me an incandescent all-night garage with a quorum of thimble-thumbed

grandmothers sitting on borrowed folding chairs.

We will gather all the lost scraps and stitch

them together;

A quilt big enough to warm all our generations: all the lost, found, rich, poor, good, bad,

in, out, old, new, country, city, dusty, shiny ones;

A quilt big enough to cover all the alfalfa fields in the Great Basin.

Bigger. We are piecing together a quilt with no edges.

God, make me brave enough to love my people.

How wonderful it is to have a people to love.

Spring break, days 1-2

2011-03-20T16:18:00.000-07:00

Monday, day 1 of spring break, found us mostly vegging. The kids watched TV and played the Wii most of the day, which we don't normally do, but, hey, spring break. I played Mario Kart with them until H stole my wheel, but I'm not very good. I only managed to break out of last place once.

Then we went mini-golfing. It was a perfect evening for it, weather-wise, and it felt so nice to be outside. H loved just carrying around his club (and other people's balls, which was a little bit of a problem, but we worked with it). Sweetie insisted that she got "2" on every hole, but we weren't keeping score, so we went with it. Mini-golfing was fun until about hole 12, when H apparently thought he was going to die of thirst and began crying and trying to sample all of the discarded 64 oz cups around the course (and there were plenty--come on, people! Find a trash can!) And when Sweetie broke down because J made her sit out a hole for always trying to be first and starting each hole while the people in front of us were still finishing it. We left with J saying, "See, that's why I didn't want to go" (in reference to H's crying and wandering and to Sweetie's pouting). But if we don't do things just because there will probably be behavior difficulties from 1 or more children, then we wouldn't do anything at all. What we should have done is 10 holes and skipped to the end. Gone out on a high (Seinfeld reference, anyone?)

Day 2 the kids played with their friends from school, who are also brother/sister. We picked them up and joined them at one of the local farms to feed the animals, ride the horses, and play on the tractors.

Keeping the Sabbath Day holy is hard

2011-03-20T14:48:00.000-07:00

as H is learning. When we came home from church, he wanted to stay in the front yard and ride his bike. When I dragged him in, he decided to "protest" for almost 30 minutes.

Speaking of basketball

2011-03-19T21:34:00.001-07:00

Mister finished up his season just before March madness began. He had a solid first year. He really loves the game and practices all the time. He's gotten very, very good at shooting the ball. He's not very aggressive, though, on the court. (Maybe all of the aggression genes went to his little brother, who just bit the neighbor girl this morning. On my watch, of all things. Sigh.) Anyway, official play is over, but Mister hasn't stopped the just-for-fun play. In fact, when I woke up this morning, I could hear him dribbling the ball downstairs.

Let the games begin

2011-03-19T21:25:00.000-07:00

er, or let the games continue, anyway. Here's the fam, filling out brackets for family home evening last Monday. Yes, they look serious because it was almost 10pm (spring break) and the kids--and the parents--were ready to drop.

There have been a few tears shed so far over the number of games predicted wrongly by certain younger members of our family, but no tears so far about the Cougars' performance. We celebrated tonight's win by going out for Mexican food and "jimmering" the chips and salsa.

A catch-all post

2011-03-13T21:11:00.000-07:00

Tonight was a perfect spring evening. J returned from a fun (and expensive!) weekend at the Mountain West Basketball tournament in Vegas. We grilled tenderloin and picked romaine from the garden for dinner. Then we went for a walk around the block. The sky was streaked with pink and H kept pointing at the half-moon and saying, "Moo! Moo!" Then we played girls against boys, kicking the soccer ball. H was bored and checked out the neighbors' open garages for better options.

Life has been busy. And hard. And fun. I haven't mustered up the energy to blog about any of it, obviously. Along with blogging, here are a few things I also have not been doing:

Taking care of the broccoli in the garden--it died
Returning my library books on time (and actually reading them! Out of the last stack I only managed to read Wednesday Wars--thumbs way up--and The Red Pyramid--pretty good. And I had to keep each a week past due in order to finish them)
Visiting teaching (oops. And I'm in the Relief Society presidency. I should get on that.)
Losing those last inches around my stomach from when I was last pregnant
Planning something for spring break this week (yikes! I should get on that--need to be proactive or kids will fight the whole week)
Sleeping--H has been sick. AGAIN. coughing all night, up all night. and at 5:30am.

But let's not focus on what I haven't been doing. Let's talk about what I have been doing:

I blogged at Segullah earlier about sustaining the prophet. I feel like an expert on the topic (not on actually doing it) since I have now given 2 talks and 1 lesson about it in the last few months. And I love the photo of President Monson that I used in my Segullah post. Go here if you want to download it and print it at Costco.
I've been spending hours outside with H--pushing him on the swing, threatening to take away his bike if he rides it into the street again, and watching him write with sidewalk chalk while I try to read those library books.

Working on an article for Computers and Composition. Almost done! It's on online literacy sponsorship ("sponsors" meaning those who have something to lose or gain by promoting or encouraging another's literacy learning). I was hoping to get it off before spring break, but I'm not exactly running on time right now (let's face it, by "right now" I mean "in this lifetime").
Going to the gym--I bought a $25-for-3-month trial pass to a new gym and I'm loving going to the classes again. I got burned out of running and lifting hand weights.
I took part in a podcast at The Round Table: Inquiry and Insight into Mormon Womanhood last week. It should be posted on their blog sometime soon. They asked me to be a special guest and participate in the discussion on Mormon women and identity. Emily Jensen, the moderator, asked us questions about pressures Mormon women feel to be "an ideal Mormon woman" and how we can work towards getting rid of these false notions that Mormon women have to be a certain way, look a certain way, do things a certain way, or make certain choices in their lives in order to be "good." One of the most thought-provoking comments in the discussion to me was from Chelsea Shields Strayer, who said that, in her experiences living overseas, Americans seem, more than any other nationality, to rely on their communities to give them their identities more than on their individual ability to fashion their own identities separate from community norms and expectations (she said it much better, but I can't remember). I've been thinking about that because I'd love to raise my children, but particularly my daughter, with the ability to conscientiously construct a self-concept, to separate their beliefs about the self from others' beliefs. But I don't have the slightest idea about how to go about giving my children the tools to do this. Any ideas?
Speaking of Mormon women, I've also been writing a short reader's theater program for our Relief Society birthday celebration in a couple of weeks. I love the history of the Relief Society--the early Relief Society women did amazing things. I think one of the many factors that led to the amazing things they did was that they built on individual women's diverse talents, personalities, life situations, etc. I'll step off my soap box now.
I've been giving my kids piano lessons (while H jumps on my back, screaming, "Nay!" or tries to pound on the piano keys, or writes on random things with a crayon some other child left down while I wasn't looking); and I've been cleaning (the majority of the house--don't look in the guest room! Actually, you probably couldn't open the door to look in there. That situation will be rectified before my in-laws visit this Thursday); and I've been making dinners.
Lastly (because I'm getting tired--see list of things I haven't been doing lately), I've been painting. While J was away, I painted my bathroom cabinets and I worked on a new aspen painting for my living room. I'll take pics when I'm not so tired. . . . (maybe next month?!)

Wish me luck on spring break! Hopefully I'll actually blog about it.

Valentine's Day has come and gone

2011-02-17T20:27:00.000-08:00

and we are done with love. Not really, but after writing notes to hang on the love tree and notes for the pillowcases, and after putting together a Valentine's tea party for Sweetie and 5 friends from school, and after making 28 large sugar cookie hearts for Mister's class party, and after doing kind, anonymous deeds to pass the love bear on to another family member, and after making heart-shaped pancakes, sandwiches, and chocolate cake, I am Valentined out. I really do love this time of year--I love the positive energy that comes into our home when we express love for each other in different ways. But right now, the key word in that sentence for me is "energy" because I am all out of that right now since H has, once again, been sick all week and hasn't slept or done much of anything but cry and hold onto my legs the minute I put him down.

But anyway, this post is supposed to be about Valentine's. Here are a few pics of Sweetie's party and of the kids following their color of yarn around the maze in the yard to find their hidden Valentine's candy and balloon. Also, Mister's class had a talent show and he perfected 3 magic tricks for his talent--first, he made a pencil rise from a bottle. Second, he painted a scarf air-colored paint and then washed it off and made it reappear. And third, he made the pictures in his coloring book colored, then go away altogether, and then return again. He was nervous, but he did such a great job!

the kids made these scratch valentines, did some mad lib valentines, and we took some pics too to sent to cousins and grandparents:

Life with H

2011-02-17T19:58:00.000-08:00

Do not be fooled by this innocent-looking face:

Here is the more true-to-life look:

Be warned that, around H's house, basketballs get thrown (as do sippy cups, plates full of food, potato mashers--which seem to be handy against siblings, and most anything that is under the 3-foot range for reaching).

Also, around H's house, forks are not just to be eaten with.

And, despite $40 spent on baby-proofing supplies, they just do not last for long when faced with H's persistent pulling and apparently super-baby strength.

Thankfully, books, boxes, and laundry baskets are available for short diversions from the forks and potato mashers.

And bungee cords are plentiful.

Mad Lib Friday

2011-02-04T16:47:00.000-08:00

If you're in the mood for a little Mad Libs, then I'm over at Segullah today.

Purging and Running and Purging

2011-01-31T13:46:00.002-08:00

Does the title of this post make me sound bulimic? Well, I'm obviously not (although if you've seen me pound cookies as I did last week, you might wonder). But that's what I was up to in January.

We lost a good week of the month to the flu, with all 5 of us having it at one time. It was horrific. Really. The sickest I can remember being since I had the chicken pox. I will spare you the details. So, that was the first round of purging.

I also spent the month trying to train for the London's Run Half-Marathon. I've wanted to run it for a while, but 3 years ago, I threw my back out, then I was pregnant, then I was sleep-deprived and nursing a 6-month-old. This year I was a little late in the game when it came to training. Due to our Christmas travels and bad weather in both places, I didn't run for almost 3 weeks and my usual running distance was 4-5 miles. But I decided to give it a shot. Then I got the stomach flu and laryngitis, but I managed to do 3 long runs and to kick up my speed on my 6 miles. I didn't have a running partner, which made the running really, really hard for me because, let's face it, running is really not that fun. And running 7-8 miles on the treadmill almost made me slit my wrists from boredom. The good thing about the boredom of it is that I wanted to finish faster, so I finally kicked my 10-min mile pace up to a 8-9 min-mile pace, especially on the shorter runs.

The race was last Saturday, and it was really fun! I was just planning on taking it easy since I hadn't trained well, and I really enjoyed the run. It was all dirt roads, which was nice, and I didn't push myself, so I didn't end feeling sick, like I have before. I ended feeling like I could actually run farther, which probably means that I should have pushed myself more. But it was a really good, empowering feeling to end feeling strong. And I made it under 2 hours--just barely! It was also so fun to have J and the kids waiting at the finish line. I have no pic other than the one Sports Shots took here. Not so flattering, eh?

And, to the last "purging" from the title. I have been determined to purge my home of all of the excess we've accumulated in the 6 years we've lived here. So, I've slowly been cleaning out the kitchen cupboards (sometimes it takes me a couple days to clean just 1 out seeing as how H takes it upon himself to "clean out" at least 4-5 while I am cleaning one), closets, files, and soon, the toys. I have to admit that I'm not so good at purging. I'm a sentimental, loyal person, which is all good when it comes to friendship but not so great when it comes to organization. But here's the lone visual I've taken so far in the purging process. I went through all of my files related to my dissertation, determined to get all of that paper under control. I ended up organizing all of the articles and my notes, but tossing this stack--all of the drafts of my dissertation chapters. It represents so much hard work that it's hard to just throw it in the recycling bin. But the process did remind me that I need to get to work on publishing some of this hard work. You know, assuming I can get through the purging and organize my life and my home again.

January poem of the month

2011-01-31T13:46:00.001-08:00

This month's poem is "For the Sleepwalkers," by Edward Hirsch. I love this poem. I memorized it in college because I love the imagery--the feeling that the words and images together invoke (to know it is morning by feeling the shadows, for example). and I love the message (or the message I took from it anyway). To me, Hirsch is saying that we have to have more faith in life--more faith in God, more faith to follow that invisible arrow leading us to choices that we feel in our hearts are right, more faith in ourselves, in our legs, to take that next step, to make that change, to do what we think we might not be able to do. I love the idea that our hearts, were they independent of our bodies, would soak up everything good that they could and would close around those things tightly and bring them back to our bodies to experience. I like the description of faith as "desperate," because sometimes it really is. And I like Hirsch's ending thought--that taking a risk, that holding onto that faith so desperately and acting on it, has nourishing and surprising rewards, one of which is that we "wake up" to who we really are, we wake up to ourselves.

For the Sleepwalkers

Tonight I want to say something wonderful
for the sleepwalkers who have so much faith
in their legs, so much faith in the invisible

arrow carved into the carpet, the worn path
that leads to the stairs instead of the window,
the gaping doorway instead of the seamless mirror.

I love the way that sleepwalkers are willing
to step out of their bodies into the night,
to raise their arms and welcome the darkness,

palming the blank spaces, touching everything.
Always they return home safely, like blind men
who know it is morning by feeling shadows.

And always they wake up as themselves again.
That's why I want to say something astonishing
like: Our hearts are leaving our bodies.

Our hearts are thirsty black handkerchiefs
flying through the trees at night, soaking up
the darkest beams of moonlight, the music

of owls, the motion of wind-torn branches.
And now our hearts are thick black fists
flying back to the glove of our chests.

We have to learn to trust our hearts like that.
We have to learn the desperate faith of sleep-
walkers who rise out of their calm beds

and walk through the skin of another life.
We have to drink the stupefying cup of darkness
and wake up to ourselves, nourished and surprised.

Edward Hirsch

Cooking for myself

2011-01-26T18:55:00.000-08:00

Catering to one's own desires when deciding what to cook the family for dinner is not for the timid of heart.

Case in point: Tonight, or today, rather, because it is an all-day affair, I cooked my Grandpa's Chili with cornbread for dinner. I love this chili. It's not a spicy chili--it's more savory. And it stirs up all kinds of memories for me--memories of pulling into my grandma and grandpa's snowy Idaho driveway in the dark and walking into the warm kitchen, with warm arms to greet me and warm chili to fill my stomach. But none of the other 4 people who live in this house with me have these memories and none of them seem to like this chili. But I had a ham bone and I wanted to make this chili. So, I labored over my chili, called the troops to dinner, and I tried to focus on the smell and the taste of it and ignore these comments/actions:

Mister: "Oh no! Chili! With tomatoes! Mom, will you pick out all of my tomatoes?"

Me: "Nope. You can do it yourself. There's not that many."

Mister wails with despair.

Sweetie and Mister: start fighting over which piece of cornbread they get--both want the middle piece. In the meantime, J takes the middle piece, so they start fighting over who gets the piece on the blue plate instead of the green plate. With all of the fighting, H realizes that he does not actually have cornbread and he starts to shriek.

Me: "H, you can't have the cornbread. It's got eggs in it and you're allergic. Sorry, buddy." More crying until I leave my own quickly cooling cornbread and chili to make H a toasted English muffin with butter and jelly.

J: "Cornbread? This is corn cake, that's what. It doesn't even look like bread." And he leaves most of the desired-middle-piece sitting on his plate to throw away.

Sweetie: "I want an English muffin!!!"

J: "I need to add more chili powder to this."

On the 3rd spoonful of chili that I try to maneuver into H's mouth, he decides he will join the ranks of the chili-despisers. He throws his milk, his spoon, and tries to throw his chili, but every once and a while, I'm actually quick enough to stave off that particular disaster. Thank heavens. H begins shaking his head "no" so fast and furious that I am afraid he will give himself whiplash or shaken-1-year-old syndrome, so I give up the chili-feeding efforts and replace them with yogurt and pears. In the meantime, J leaves me to issue threats about what will happen should the little people not each their chili while he goes to make some calls for church.

Mister: "Can I be done?"

Me, looking at his untouched chili: "Nope. Eat your dinner."

Loud sighs.

Sweetie: "I want an English muffin!!!"

Me: "No. I made you chili and cornbread. I'm not making you anything else."

And so on. And so forth. So, I don't know if the whole cooking-for-myself thing is actually worth it. Especially because I ended up eating 2 full bowls and 2 pieces of cornbread and now I feel completely stuffed. But in case you want to give the cooking-for-yourself thing a try, here's my Grandpa's Chili. Don't believe the 4 other people I live with. It truly is amazing chili. Try it and find out (or just come by--I have a whole stockpot waiting!)

Grandpa's Chili

1 qt red beans. Put in stock pot, bring to a boil, take off the heat, sit overnight, drain and refill in the morning. Put on to simmer with:

2 Tbsp giner

2 (14 oz each) cans chili con carne

smoked pork shank--wash and drop in whole (I use the leftover ham bone or sometimes a package of bacon)

1 large onion, chopped

2 heaping spoonfuls of spiced, minced garlic

4 lbs hamburger, browned (I don't use quite this much)

Take the pork shank out after 3 hours. You can cut up the meat and put it back in if you want.

After 4 hours, sprinkle a lot of chili power (to taste), and add:

2 c ketchup

1 pt tomatoes or tomato soup

2/3 c brown sugar (to taste)

cube of butter (I don't add this one--Grandpa, what were you thinking?!)

After you add the ketchup/tomatoes, watch it because it will burn easily.