Sunday, December 30, 2012

The Profits of a Prayer of Real Intent: Fearful Gratitude

Last night I was in a lot of pregnancy-related pain, and I started to get scared. Scared of labor, scared of pain, scared of possible complications. So I knelt down by my bed and prayed--one of those desperate prayers full of the "real intent" that Moroni mentions (9:7), the kind so full of real intent that God is sure to receive it.  I don't often pray that way, unfortunately, but I did last night. I prayed for peace and for assurance that I could do this.

As I prayed, my desperate fear shifted. It didn't go away, but my narrow focus on impending pain broadened to include the larger picture. I realized that this will probably be the last time I give birth, and I felt gratitude for the opportunity to carry another life inside me. I felt grateful for the experience as a whole rather than only the sudden and overwhelming fear I'd felt earlier.

I'm still nervous about the birth--I haven't prepared for it like I did before my last, when I listened to Hypnobabies cds and practiced relaxing and focusing. But I'm not scared like before and I feel some peace still lingering from my prayer last night. Let's hope it lingers until this baby decides to make her appearance!

I made J snap this pic at my sister-in-law's on my phone after church today. Not a great pic (he didn't even get in my awesome leopard-print heels, which are supposed to take some of the focus off my huge stomach), but it will have to do since I've only taken 3 pics my entire pregnancy! This is 2 days short of 39 weeks.

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