You can call me Dr. Jekyll. Or, er, Mr. Hyde.

This week J was gone to the basketball tournament in Vegas from Thursday morning to Sunday afternoon. So I was determined to do some fun stuff with the kids, enjoy each others' company and all. And we did--we flew kites, got take-out, had a movie night with lots of treats, went to the Transportation Day, made cookies, had a lemonade stand, and so on. But I ended each night disappointed in myself and wondering if it's worth the effort to try to do fun things with the kids. It seems like each activity fluctuated between the highs and the lows. We had tons of fun, we relaxed, we bonded, and then there was tons of fighting/whining/disobeying, etc. and then I got mad and yelled at someone.

Case in point: the kite flying. I forgot how relaxing it is to fly a kite, how enjoyable it is to stand in the breeze with the sun on my face and feel the kite pulling back and forth. And, of course, I can never get enough of H's excitement: "Whoa!" he yelled, running around under the kite. After handing Mister the first kite, I prepped the second one for Sweetie and then Mister thought his kite was going to go into a tree. "Leave the kite there," I told Sweetie, "I'll help you in one second. Don't touch it."  So, of course, she did, and the kite tail and strings were tangled so badly. While I spent 30 min untangling them (a miracle in itself since I am NOT a patient person), they fought over the kite. And the bike. I got tired of the fighting and frustrated with the kite and yelled. Then, on our way home, Sweetie was flying the kite and riding the bike at the same time. "Don't do that near those bushes," I called out to her 3 separate times. "Hold the kite as you go up the hill or it will catch in the bushes." What do you think happened. Aaaarrrggghhhh!




Again today: Transportation Day. So fun to try out all of the vehicles, honk all of their horns (okay, that part was not so fun for me after a while). Once again, H was in his element. The web site for the Transportation Day had listed all of the vehicles to expect, plus bounce houses, and then had said, "Free."  So, silly me, thought everything was free. But the bounce houses and obstacle course was not, and I had no cash. Cue the whining. And the fake sobs. And the yelling on my part that we'd had a fun morning and we should focus on that and not on what we didn't get to do. So STOP WHINING!!!

 

 If anything, events like these make me realize that I have a long way to go. I love my kids. So much. I think one of my ways of communicating it is to try to do fun things with them and for them. I hope they get that, despite the yelling episodes that always seem to accompany the outings.