In January, the mailbox is sad and lonely. And the trips to get the mail are depressing--no brightly colored cards, no faces of old friends peering out at me from the envelopes, and no packages. Oh, how I love the constant packages delivered to my door in December. So, this month's poem, which I meant to post early in the month and then forgot, is meant to reflect the loss of packages I endure every January. :) I also think this poem is funny because it reminds me of how as a teenager and even a college student, I would spin big daydreams of how I would meet fabulous men (as randomly as the UPS Man) who would recognize my brilliance and beauty and fall madly in love with me.
"Why I Have A Crush On You, UPS Man"
by Alice N. Persons
you bring me all the things I order
are never in a bad mood
always have a jaunty wave as you drive away
look good in your brown shorts
we have an ideal uncomplicated relationship
you're like a cute boyfriend with great legs
who always brings the perfect present
(why, it's just what I've always wanted!)
and then is considerate enough to go away
oh, UPS Man, let's hop in your clean brown truck and elope!
ditch your job, I'll ditch mine
let's hit the road for Brownsville
and tempt each other
with all the luscious brown foods--
roast beef, dark chocolate,
brownies, Guinness, homemade pumpernickel, molasses cookies
I'll make you my mama's bourbon pecan pie
we'll give all the packages to kind looking strangers
live in a cozy wood cabin
with a brown dog or two
and a black and brown tabby
I'm serious, UPS Man. Let's do it.
Where do I sign?
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