Sunday, June 7, 2015

Daily Life and Deliverance

I've been struggling a lot the last few months with a professional identity crisis and a re-thinking of some of my key choices professionally (which also means personally, since you can't compartmentalize your life). As I've been struggling, I've spent hours working on revising a journal article. It's been supremely exhausting physically and mentally to do that in the middle of all of the other things going on (reference the last few blog posts!). But I have been buoyed up spiritually. This is one scripture that I read in the middle of some of my struggles that meant so much to me: 

Alma 58, verses 10-11, where Helaman says, “Therefore we did pour out our souls in prayer to God, that he would strengthen us and deliver us . . . and it came to pass that the Lord our God did visit us with assurances that he would deliver us; yea, insomuch that he did speak peace to our souls, and did grant unto us great faith, and did cause us that we should hope for our deliverance in him.”

Helaman was talking about war, but this verse seemed applicable to my own struggles and need for strength and deliverance and peace. I've wondered over the last few months if some of the things I do for a possible future in academics are worth it, even if they never lead to an actual tenure track position. Lately, I think I've decided that, yes, they are. Because they have forced me to do hard things and those hard things have led me to rely more fully on the Lord and have helped me to feel the depth of his love for me. And how can something that results in that ever not be worth it?

Taken at my parent's house with my grandma when I went up to work during the day and my mom watched the littlest crazies. My mom--always helping me shoulder my burdens when I need her. How could I have accomplished anything in life without my mom? That's a genuine question.

Taken at 12:30am after hours of work.
So, in the middle of this personal struggle and need for deliverance, we proceeded with daily life. 
Love these goofy faces, mustaches and all!
I am a mean mom who would not let her wear her sundress when it was pouring rain.
Please guess what her favorite colors are.
Reading to her doll in the car.
When brother and sister are babysitting, you get to wear whatever you want to bed.

We managed to hit the Tulip Festival for FHE for a quick hour. You can see how thrilled J was with this outing.

We also went to the Payson Temple open house:

Last day of school with big kids home for the summer from now on and morning kindergarten in the fall=H's last run with mom! Good thing. He's outgrowing the jogger and his 50 pounds are slowing me down . . . (Although I will miss his cries of excitement when we go over the bumps on the dirt trail.)

We said good-bye to our butterflies with cupcakes and a butterfly release party:

J and I celebrated 15 years with dinner at Log Haven in Millcreek Canyon:

Lastly, I just returned from Girls' Camp. I wasn't so excited to go, but I did have a great time and just soaked up the beauty of the area. This picture was taken from the Lodge we stayed in--you can see the slide that came off of it. So fun. And the next pic was before we went white water rafting on the Snake.

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